06 May Kid-free weddings
Kid-free weddings
The pros & cons of having a child-free wedding
“Come on, be honest, have you ever seen a parent with a child at a wedding having a good time?” was a question posed to me whilst performing at a wedding recently.
I was stumped! I searched my memory backlog of hundreds of wedding ceremonies and receptions I had attended to try and remember a genuine moment where parents were having fun whilst in the possession of their young children. I couldn't recall a single moment!
Let's take a look at some of the (many) advantages and the (not so many) disadvantages of having children at your wedding!
The Pros
The many advantages of a child-free wedding - and there are plenty of them.
Let's start with the good news. Here's why so many couples decide to keep the big day child-free:
- Less stress for parents - who wants to worry about their child ruining the wedding day? Making sure the 5-year-old stays clear of the 3-tier wedding cake, the champagne tower or the bride's wedding dress is a task in itself!
- More freedom and flexibility for guests - no having to worry about small children running around and getting in the way.
- More enjoyable wedding celebration for all - without the added stress of little ones, everyone can relax and have a good time.
- Distraction-free ceremony - no more crying babies, fidgety toddlers, or unruly children running around. Instead, you can relax and enjoy the wedding without having to worry about keeping little ones entertained.
- Invite extra guests - with no children knocking around, it affords you the chance to invite more guests to your wedding!
- More money to spend on other things - with one less expense (i.e. childcare), you can use that money to splurge on other aspects of the wedding or put it towards your honeymoon fund!
- Safety issues - some wedding venues often have expensive and valuable furniture and decorations that may need paying for should young Charlie stick his boot in! A child-free wedding ensures no such dramas come to fruition!
- Cheaper! Of course, fewer heads mean you can reduce your costs when it comes to booking the venue and caterers.
And now the cons!
The not-so-many disadvantages - but they're worth weighing up.
Parents may feel left out - some parents may feel as though they are missing out on a key moment of their child's life by not having them at the wedding.
Kids provide entertainment and chaos for guests - little ones can often be quite the distraction for guests, providing amusement and mayhem!
Offended guests - there's nothing quite like a wedding to bring out the judgemental side of even the most well-meaning relatives and friends. So, if you're thinking of having a kid-free wedding, be prepared for some pushback. After all, there's always the chance that someone will feel offended by your decision. Of course, you could always try to explain your reasons for wanting a kid-free celebration. But, at the end of the day, it's your wedding and you should do whatever makes you happy. Just be prepared for some hurt feelings (and maybe a few scathing Facebook posts) from those who didn't make the cut.
No shows! A real possibility if their babysitter bails at the last minute - or they can't find a trusted babysitter.
They're a charming addition - whether the flower girl is dropping rose petals down the aisle with glee or a tiny ring bearer carrying the precious wedding band, there's something about kids that is sure to win over the hearts of all those in attendance. And that's not even counting little girls dressed up in their finest formal gowns and boys decked out in tidy suits, both looking almost regal as they wait to make their big entrance. Indeed, nothing is more heartwarming than seeing little ones dressed up for such a special day. Photographers enjoy snapping these moments such as kids running across the lawn or on the dance floor.
"Be prepared for some hurt feelings - and maybe a few scathing Facebook posts - from those who didn't make the cut."
How to soften the blow?
Telling your guests the kids aren't invited is the hardest part. Here's exactly how to word it.
Let the venue take the hit! Blaming it on the venue - capacity limits, insurance, or a strict under-18s policy - is the easiest route of all, so double-check whether yours has any conditions you can point to.
If a complete ban feels too harsh, the ceremony-only compromise tends to land well. Most parents will completely understand and do their best to accommodate an adult-only reception, so stick to your guns.
These are expensive days we live in, and with weddings costing tens of thousands of pounds, the budget line is actually quite legitimate - most guests will understand completely. Prefer to keep it short and sweet? A simple "We hope you understand that we have decided not to invite children to our wedding reception" does the job. You could also offer a babysitting service so parents can still come along, though arranging childcare can be expensive.
And remember, keeping the vibe lively and relaxed for the adults is so important. For ways to make sure your reception hits the perfect note, take a look at these wedding entertainment ideas.
If you'd rather include the kids
At a wedding I attended in Italy, the couple hired a children's entertainment company for the whole day - so the kids were happily entertained while the adults enjoyed a grown-up celebration.
If you do decide to have children at the wedding, consider setting up a designated area for them. It gives parents somewhere to keep an eye on their little ones while still enjoying the celebration - handy for crying babies, energetic toddlers, or kids who just need to burn off some energy. Colouring books, puzzles or board games all help keep them entertained.
Babies - parents with newborns should be given the option to bring their baby along. If you go that route, provide a comfortable place for the baby to sleep and make sure the parents have plenty of food and drink. Some may feel comfortable leaving the baby with close family for the day - a well-deserved break to enjoy the festivities.
Older kids - teens old enough to stay home might feel left out if their parents head off without them. A clear "over-18s only" line simplifies the decision and keeps things consistent if you'd prefer a child-free event.
Overall, there are pros and cons to having a child-free wedding. Whether you allow children or not, it's important to take your guests' feelings into account when making the decision.
Child-free or not, the hardest part is simply telling people. Most guests will understand - and a wedding without little ones running about often feels more relaxed, letting everyone focus on the celebration. Weigh up the pros and cons, then do what's right for the two of you.
Keep the grown-ups entertained.
If you're planning a child-free celebration, a bit of close-up magic keeps every adult in the room buzzing between the big moments. See what's included, then drop an enquiry for availability and a pricing PDF - I'll get back to you within hours.
